Musical Monday: Colonoscopy Song


If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy, you know that, well, nobody really wants one. But although there are some non-invasive stool sample screening tests such as Cologuard, the gold standard for finding colon cancer early is the colonoscopy.

Just like you, I was in no hurry to have this test. In fact, when my doctor first suggested it, I said I would have the test…as soon as the Boston Red Sox won the World Series. Up until that time, the Red Sox hadn’t won the World Series in 86 years. I felt as though I was being extremely cooperative, but with some caveats.

The year was 2004 and just my luck, the Red Sox won their first World Series since 1918. So with no more excuses, I went to get my colonoscopy.

I was somewhat awake during the procedure, and while I was laying there, I began thinking about what was actually taking place. My doctor had a very long, thin telescope inserted you know where, and we were together watching home videos of my colon.

It was right then that I began writing down in my head The Colonoscopy Song. Since colon cancer is the third leading cause of death in the United States, and it is almost entirely preventable if you catch it early, I was really glad to find out mine was normal. But I thought, “If I’m this hard to convince to have one, non-medical people must really be trying to dodge it.”

The American Cancer Society recommends… “that people at average risk* of colorectal cancer start regular screening at age 45.  People who are in good health and with a life expectancy of more than 10 years should continue regular colorectal cancer screening through the age of 75.

People ages 76 through 85, should be screened based on a person’s preferences, life expectancy, overall health, and prior screening history.

People over 85 should no longer get colorectal cancer screening.”

*Average risk includes people who do not have:

  • A personal history of colorectal cancer or certain types of polyps
  • A family history of colorectal cancer
  • A personal history of inflammatory bowel disease (ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease)
  • A confirmed or suspected hereditary colorectal cancer syndrome, such as familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP) or Lynch syndrome (hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer or HNPCC)
  • A personal history of getting radiation to the abdomen (belly) or pelvic area to treat a prior cancer

Enjoy the video, The Colonoscopy Song


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