Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking to the male employees of #AARP. I was a lively group of men from Washington D.C. to Hawaii, gathered via Zoom, to ask questions and share their experiences about #menopause and #menopausesymptoms.
Menopause is a natural life transition for women, but it can also bring challenges for partners. Men also must interact with midlife women who are their sisters, mothers, daughters, co-workers, bosses, and employees.
One recurring observation was the fact that most men don’t know a lot about menopause and often wonder, “What’s the best way to survive” this challenging transition. Since menopause happens to all women and women are half the population and one-fourth of the workforce, knowing how to “survive” is essential information. For couples, most agreed that menopause is a shared experience – in many ways, both are going through it.
Here are eight tips I suggested to help men support their partners and take care of themselves during this time. Use it as a checklist to strengthen your relationship and navigate menopause together.
- Educate Yourself
☐ Learn about menopause symptoms such as hot flashes, sleep disruption, mood changes, and sexual changes.
☐ Understand that these changes are biological and not personal rejection.
2. Communicate—Don’t Assume
☐ Ask, ‘How are you feeling?’ or ‘What do you need from me?’
☐ Listen without trying to fix everything immediately.
3. Step Up at Home
☐ Share household duties and childcare responsibilities.
☐ Take initiative to ease her daily load.
4. Keep Intimacy Alive
☐ Explore non-sexual closeness: hugs, cuddling, quality time together.
☐ Support her in finding solutions for sexual challenges (lubricants, local estrogen, counseling).
5. Stay Calm During Mood Swings
☐ Recognize hormonal changes may affect mood and patience.
☐ Respond with calmness and avoid defensiveness.
6. Support Medical Care
☐ Encourage checkups and medical consultations about symptoms and treatments.
☐ Offer to accompany her to appointments for support.
7. Take Care of Yourself Too
☐ Exercise, eat well, sleep, and manage stress.
☐ Seek support from friends or a counselor if needed.
8. Reimagine Your Partnership
☐ View menopause as a new chapter for both of you.
☐ Set shared goals such as travel, hobbies, or new projects.
Bottom Line
Men who approach menopause with patience, teamwork, humor, and compassion can not only survive the transition but also emerge with a stronger and more connected marriage.
